Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Is it because I queefed?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
