ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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