You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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