Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
