that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
cat food counts as protein by the way
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
