Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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