Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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