i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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