like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
