I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
pray to the hookup gods
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
