I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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