he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
