Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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