So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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