didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
