At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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