we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
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Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
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It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?