I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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