I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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