so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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