So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
