my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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