we have officially lost it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
there is puke in my bra ... again
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
