did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
