i think i have herpe
just one?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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