you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
