I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize