Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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