Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
