My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
