I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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