I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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