You work out of a Hotel?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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