Your tits are I can't wait for
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
