I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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