And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No...this little piggys going to the bar
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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