Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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