so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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