whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
4 words: hood of his car
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
