I forgot how hot balto sounded
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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