At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
