Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
