i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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