Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
