JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I could have mohawked her pubes.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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