He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
