He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
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she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
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We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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