So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
