I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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