i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Randomize