I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I've blown a few things in my day
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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