this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
