I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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