Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
